Half Way Point...

So...we are halfway through 2013.  Well, more than that but it's going by way too fast.  I'll stick with just halfway!
I set some goals back in January and I want to check in on them.  Honestly, I can't remember some of them, so I don't think I'm doing very well.  This is the check in/check up that I need right now!

• figure out what to do for work, make sure I will LOVE it!
• Until yesterday, I was sure I was done this.  Then I saw a job posting and now I'm rethinking everything.  Unless I can make the two work together...
• sell the little yellow house.  Bittersweet...
• Little yellow house (which is actually green) is currently occupied by two great renters who are expecting a baby!  We are going through sales discussions with them, trying to figure out how to make this work for all of us.  House will either go up for sale in October OR rent will have to take a significant jump.  We are on the fence, we love these renters!
• more meet ups/tweet ups/playdates with amazing women and their kids!
• So far, fail here.  But I still have 6 months to go.  And the rest of summer...
• unplug more often, be more present especially with family.
• Yes, and no.  Sometime I can do it, other times not so much.  
• celebrate babies!  MOAR babies, as MagzD would say. 
• Seriously folks.  42 babies that I know of are scheduled to be born in 2013.  42!!!  What is in the water, and boy am I glad that I didn't drink it!  27 have made their entrance so far.  One sweet baby girl grew her angel wings and has left us already, but she will never be forgotten... <3
• celebrate 10 years of US - with the family and without... ;)
• Our anniversary came and we had a great date night.  I was absolutely shocked to receive a gift...containing diamonds, sapphires, amethyst and more!  I am usually the one who does surprises, so this caught me off guard completely.  This goal is half completed - due to still breastfeeding Mini-D we were not able to get away for alone time.  This is being bumped to a 2014 goal - and I have a secret plan of my own to get away and enjoy JUST each other!
• make that number on the scale a little lower...
• Not happening.  It goes up and comes down.  Then I stop jumping on the scale.  I have contacted a trainer to start a program and am looking into a few options.  Also looking into some circus classes to reconnect with my former gymnast/dance self for the fall.  
• plan a #kickass2014 New Years Eve par-taaaay!
• THIS IS IN THE WORKS!  Planning is happening, lots of pinning on Pinterest, and yes, it will happen!  Hoping for awesome weather to incorporate some outside fun into my plans too!
• go to church a little more.  
• So far, nope.  Not even once.  Maybe in the fall when we get into a regular routine?  We are away so many weekends this summer.  That doesn't account for the previous 6 months.  I am completely making excuses, probably because I don't want to go back to the church we were going to before, and church hunting is NOT fun.  Plus, we have to do it with kids now.  I need to bump this up in priority I think!
• spend some quality time with my sister who lives far away.  Too far...
• HAPPENING and I couldn't be more excited!  I can't take any credit for this at all - she is planning a trip out here in just over a month.  I am focusing on the QUALITY part of this goal.  I want her to be super involved with the kids (her only niece/nephew) and feel like she doesn't live so far away.  Still waiting on dates from her so we can plan this time to it's fullest!!
• get our amazing back yard landscaped.
• This is going to be a fail, but not our fault at all.  Our builders have yet to get approval for our rough grade, so we can't touch landscaping at all.  Very, very disappointed in this, as we have a gorgeous space that we can't use at all.  Except weed picking.  Which was not a goal at all.  :(
• grow my already awesome business even more!
• I just returned from an amazing business conference and this is also happening.  A little differently than originally planned as my eyes have been opened and my direction/vision has shifted.  I do so much more than sell clothes.  Watch for future updates on this!
• do something that is WAY outside my comfort zone.  Yet to be determined...
• COMPLETED!  In a way I never imagined.  I am still processing this, it will get the focus of one entire post!

There you have it!  Updated goals for 2013!  I still have a long, long, long way to go but checking just a couple of them off feels great.  Changing up the ones that aren't working and being okay with the ones that simply won't happen this year is sitting okay as well.  If you set goals for 2013 how are you doing with them?  I would love to hear!

~ Stacy

Hate is a strong word

Let me preface my preface by saying I love my husband.  I really do.  Maybe if I keep saying it I'll feel better about all of this...

The real preface.  I should have won wife of the year a couple of years back.  Right before Christmas I found the LAST Xbox 360 console at a dirty Superstore and decided to surprise D with it.  I knew he wanted one badly but they were all sold out everywhere.  What a score!!  He would love me like the day he married me when he opened it.  And he probably did, but a lot has changed since then.

Current day.  My kids are normally very happy and healthy.  This last week had been one of colds and immunizations, so they aren't their normal selves.  Bear is a suck and is sure that her elbows, knees and tummy all hurt from the shot.  She has the sniffles now too, her cold is starting.  Mini-D woke up with a goopy eye, sniffles and a cough.  He's super cuddly and I've enjoyed his snuggles.  Overall, we did good today despite the sore arms and colds.  Until bedtime that is.

For some weird reason, Bear likes to fall asleep in our bed.  Even weirder, D lets her.  It drives me crazy because Mini-D still sleeps in a bassinette in our room so D has to come up and carry Bear to bed before I can nurse Mini-D to sleep.  Tonight D was engrossed in his game and I had to wait a good 10 minutes before he got up here to move Bear.  Mini-D was a sobbing disaster until that happened.  I nursed his to sleep but he's not himself and was NOT happy in the bassinette.  I try to keep him out of the bed as much as possible so D and I can sleep so I took him to his crib hoping that maybe tonight he would be tired enough to just fall asleep in there.  Boy was I wrong.

After at least 20 minutes of crying, Mini-D woke up Bear.  I went into her room to check on her and found her disoriented, sitting on the floor outside her closet.  I helped her back into bed, promised I would get Mini-D's crying under control and she could go back to sleep.  In the meantime Mini-D was crying harder than ever.  I leaned over the bannister in case the monitor in Mini-D's room wasn't working (that's right, he should have been able to hear the crying and that I needed help) and called D up to help.  I could hear the Xbox game playing.

I went back to Mini-D's room to try and comfort him without taking him out of the crib.  I think this angered him and he cried even louder (if that's possible).  I heard whimpering and knew Bear was up again.  What I didn't know was that she was in the room with me!!  I felt something against my leg and when I looked down I saw a figure of a little girl.  I thought she was a ghost!!  After a deep, calming breath I told her I was doing the best I can and she could go down and ask daddy to come up to try and help her get back to sleep.  I lifted Mini-D out of the crib and rocked him, feeding him once again.  Within minutes Bear was back in his room in years because Daddy "didn't want to come up yet".  LAST FUCKING STRAW.  I picked up the monitor base and strongly said "can't you hear ANY of this?".  The Xbox got quiet, so I knew he had been able to hear all the crying and problems from earlier.  Why he ignored us, I do not know.  He came up and took Bear to her room after I told him I wasn't physically capable of keeping them both from crying and in bed at the same time.  His response was that he told Bear he just needed a few more minutes to finish his game.  ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING GAMES!!  Angry with me for calling him up he did take Bear and get her settled in bed.  When he came in to see what Mini-D's problem was he suggested just putting him in bed with us.  I balked.  I don't usually do that.  But putting Mini-D in bed with us results in me getting very little sleep and D eventually going to sleep on the couch but complaining the next day about how horribly he slept.

Currently, D and Mini-D are watching Walking Dead episodes while I catch up on sleep in our bed.  I have no idea what the rest of the night will bring but I do know one thing.  I HATE that Xbox.  If "something" happens to it this week, there will NOT be a replacement allowed in this house.  Ironically, the next Xbox was revealed this week and *someone* wants to preorder as soon as possible.  Absolutely NOT happening.  I am done with video game consoles until my husband can grow up enough to understand the time and place for them.  I don't use the word hate often.  I believe that there is always some element of good in almost everything, everyone and every situation and therefore hate doesn't apply.  But I HATE the Xbox.  It will be gone soon.  Very soon..

UPDATE: as if anyone can believe this...I got up this morning and found Bear playing on the iPad.  She has some great games on there, but this is one of only two mornings a week where she gets to snuggle with daddy and watch cartoons.  Hmmmm...I came down the stairs and to my surprise (really?  Should this be a surprise anymore??) the Xbox was on and he didn't even look up when Mini-D and I walked in.  After a night with a sick kid (who woke up several times and needed Tylenol which I had Dan get up and find - so he knew I had been up several times!) he didn't ask how his little guy was doing or if he/we needed anything.  Sigh...today is going to be a loooooong day.  If anyone knows how to damage an Xbox to the point of no return without any visible signs on the outside, feel free to share.  

13 for 13

I love myself lists, some MagzD and Frugal Edmonton Mama, so I'm going to "borrow" from them.  You can read their posts here and here!

Here is MY list on what's going to make 2013 fantastic!

• figure out what to do for work, make sure I will LOVE it!
• sell the little yellow house.  Bittersweet...
• more meet ups/tweet ups/playdates with amazing women and their kids!
• unplug more often, be more present especially with family.
• celebrate babies!  MOAR babies, as MagzD would say. 
• celebrate 10 years of US - with the family and without... ;)
• make that number on the scale a little lower...
• plan a #kickass2014 New Years Eve par-taaaay!
• go to church a little more.  
• spend some quality time with my sister who lives far away.  Too far...
• get our amazing back yard landscaped.
• grow my already awesome business even more!
• do something that is WAY outside my comfort zone.  Yet to be determined...

If I can accomplish this, 2013 will get my #kickass seal.  Here's to the best year yet! 

Fantastic 2013

I read a lot about resolutions today.  It has been years since I made any myself, I much prefer setting goals or making plans or writing lists.  Today I stumbled upon this amazing comment on my newsfeed: "Instead of making resolutions consider making intentions for your new year. Resolution means something needs to be resolved. You are beautiful as you are you just intend to become more and to nurture yourself".  Can I get an amen?  ;)

So what's going to make 2013 so freaking fantastic?  I want to make goals and make plans.  And be people oriented.  I have a ton of things planned so I'll just share a few. 

My "job".  I don't even know what this is now, and that's the beauty of maternity leave.  I have a few ideas of what I would like it to be and things are in the works.  It will definitely be centered around my family and my home.  The location of our home is ideal for what I'm planning...and I still have a little time to finalize it.  I think it will make our whole clan happy!

Our little yellow house.  That isn't really yellow.  It needs to sell.  But we have great renters right now and the possibility that they will buy the house before their lease is up is pretty good.  If that doesn't pan out, we still need to sell before the end of 2013 as owning a rental property was never in our plans.  It is working for now but just working.  

I need to spend time with some of the amazing women I hang out with on Twitter - and their children.  Now before anyone thinks it's all weird, I have met them all in real life already and knew most of them before I sent my first tweet.  So it's cool.  Not weird.  I'm thinking about some glitter, some ziplining, some cross-country skiing, some SEO, some feminism chat, gagging at the kombucha on some people's counters, laughing about jalapeno-coconut-oil-douche...I think we need to spend more time together.  Hopefully their coolness will rub off on me just a bit. 

Handydan's family does annual trips to "the lake" - different lakes, different cabins each year.  There are 14 of us in total and it has yet to be a boring trip.  Read into that what you will.  This year, I want it to be kickass.  As in I'm bringing crafts for the kids to do, I will be doing the lake trips (if we don't have waterfront property) with the kids, I just want to give that time my 100%.  I will probably unplug for it too, for those of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook. 

BABIES.  But not mine.  I have two darling children, Bear and Mini-D.  Don't need more, don't really want more.  BUT so far I know of 19 babies that will be born in 2013 and those are only those announced up to June, so I am expecting even more.  I am NOT expecting, hopefully others will be.  Bring on the babes 2013!

Our anniversary!  This year we celebrate TEN years of marriage.  Whoa, Nelly!  On one hand I want to celebrate with a huge, extravagant trip for two to somewhere hot and secluded.  But then my heart says that's a lot of money spent on just two of us when the FOUR of us could have a sensible, memory making vacation.  What to do, what to do...either way, we won't be going anywhere hot in the middle of summer so we have some time to plan.

New Years 2014.  Yes, I'm a planner.  And this year I decided that I want to throw a big shin-dig for NEXT New Years.  A family event, hosted here, with indoor and outdoor fun.  The special event planner in me is bubbling over with excitement and plans.  It's going to be a gooder and I only have 365 days to figure it all out!  :)

And...of course...the ever haunting number.  You know the one.  The one on the scale that never seems to make you happy.  Before I got pregnant with Mini-D, I was happier with the number on the scale.  I know what I did to get it there.  But then pregnancy hit (sounds like the flu) and those numbers went up.  Not as high as they did with Bear, but still.  The numbers need to come down and I have a bit of a plan to get started.  Also, all the holiday baking and partying is ending so the temptation to eat all the treats (because I'm breastfeeding and I NEED those extra 500+ calories...) is disappearing.  Fingers crossed that the extra weight will disappear as fast as those goodies did.  Sigh.  A girl can dream can't she?

For 2013 I would like things to stay relatively the same.  We don't have huge plans for anything and for once I would like to keep it that way.  When we make changes in our lives we tend to change EVERYTHING at once.  That was 2011/2012 for us and now for some calm after the storm.  Some peace.  Finding our groove.  2013 - the year of finding our groove.

Kickass 2012 or did 2012 kick my ass?

Here we sit on the eve of 2013...was it really an entire year ago that we were planning our #kickass2012?  Where did the time go?

If I could go back on my Twitter timeline far enough I would find a tweet about what was going to make 2012 so freaking awesome.  Three wonderful things...

• a "new" job (well, my contract being renewed or being hired on permanently)
• a new house
• a new baby

...and two out of three ain't so shabby!

In late summer we moved into our "forever home" -  the house that we will live in until at least 2028.  It is just steps from the school where our kids will spend 10 years each, down the road from some great parks and a lake they can swim in, a massive yard that will be the undertaking of #summer2013, surrounded by great neighbours and friends!
In early fall our family grew by one wonderful little boy.  After a traumatic birth with Bear in 2008 we weren't sure that another baby was in our family plans.  But Mini-D's birth was a completely different experience, and as I said to my OB: "if an accident happened and I had to do it all over again, I could definitely handle it".  Not that we are planning anything.  

So no, my "new" job didn't pan out.  Looking back, it was for the best - I couldn't see it at the time, but it wasn't a healthy workspace for many of the employees and I was actually blessed to have a contract that ran out and didn't get renewed.  There are other employees who have contacted me since my last day in March saying they wish they had had the opportunity to get out that I did.  So I'm still counting that as #kickass2012 - getting out before I got in over my head!

There were definitely other highlights and lowlights of 2012.  2012 was not the year of my highest highs (but in the top 3!) or my lowest lows (2010 still takes the cake on that one) but it was a year of peaks and valleys.  To add to my list of wonderful things that happened:

• watching my best and longest time friend marry the man of her dreams.  And having my daughter (her namesake) be a part of her special day as a flowergirl;
• Mini-D joining the family;
• Bear starting the same dance program that I did as a child, with the same instructor I had, even dancing some of the same dances I danced;
• Bear starting preschool and loving it (I was a preschool drop-out, making my parents proud);
• Bear being in unparented gymnastics classes and her first summer daycamp;
• Handydan starting his own company;
• meeting and making lots of new friends, mostly thanks to Twitter;
• continuing to work a new and dynamic "job";
• visiting old friends, GOOD friends in Victoria, Squamish and Vancouver.  So. Much. Love.

And the lowlights.  With all the good, there came some rotten.  Looking back, the good FAR outweighed the bad.  For that I am thankful.  Here are the contenders for worst of 2012:

• not having my contract renewed.  Sometimes I take this personally and sometimes it still hurts;
• an incident at the cabin this summer that is not yet resolved.  Maybe it started before the cabin, I am still unsure of the details.  Something I would like to get to the bottom of, for family's sake, but not sure that I am the one who needs to initiate it;
• a good friend losing her father suddenly.  This is a reminder to me that life is fragile and needs to be handled carefully, with love.

And with that, I hear the stirrings of Mini-D.  I need to go to him and love him as only a mother can.  But I will be back tomorrow with plans for a #fantastic2013!  Stay tuned...I`ll catch you in 2013!

First Steps

My name is Stacy and I guess this is my first blog post.  I'm not sure what I'm doing here, if I like it or if I will stay.  But I do know I love to write, it's like composing with words for me.  And I love my friends blogs, especially the blog challenges that have themes.  Will this blog have a theme?  Probably not, unless my life as a mom of two great kids is considered a theme.  Will I be here often?  Probably not.  But maybe as I get more comfortable I'll be around more.  That's it, that's all I've got the first time around.  Over and out.